My Testimony...Part 4

     Thanks for sticking with me this far. This will be the final installment of my testimonial blog. This particular part will be the hardest part for me to put into words. I know I am supposed to share, but it comes with a lot of fear and uncertainty of what will come next. However, I know who God says I am and I KNOW that He loves me just as much if not even more for getting through this. So here goes....

I'll pick up where I left off. Two years of strife, junk, grief, heartache, depression. Yes, the biggest junk happened many more years ago, but it seems like it all came

tumbling down upon me within that two year time frame. Dealing with the issues in my personal life, church life, and family life got the better of me. There was a lot going on and I kept telling God that He must think I can handle it...cause it just kept coming. Problem here was, I wasn't taking the issues where I needed to. I wasn't pressing into God like I knew I should. So, you are probably asking about now, what did I do? How was I handling it all? Well, I started a one step program called, Drinking. I started drowning all the issues and stresses with alcohol. It started off slow...I have a liking for wine. Then the wine wasn't enough, so I added beer and soon after that,  hard liquor. I would drink every night to numb the pain of all that was going on. I became numb to life in general. Pretty apathetic to a lot of things, yet on the outside, I was peachy! On the inside,  I was angry, bitter and wondered what did I do to deserve all this junk (grief).  During this time my father became sick. He eventually went on to be with Jesus and that only made my issues worse. Tomorrow, June 18th will be the 2 year anniversary of his passing. Father's day is very hard for me now, then tack on an anniversary of death and it gets pretty depressing.

     Long and the short of this ordeal is this:  God didn't leave me where I was. He wrapped His arms around me and said this to me. It was so clear..."Val, my daughter, you were meant for so much more than this. You are my child and you have to look up now. Lay down the alcohol and choose life."  It was such a clear voice to me. So I did. On my face I cried and prayed and told God that I will do as He has asked. 1 year and 2 months ago...I laid it down for good. Not one drink since. I am proud of that and I vowed that I would remain an open vessel for His purpose and Glory in the end. 

     So that is why I share and I truly hope that there is just one life touched through this...cause that would be enough for me. To make a difference...To share Jesus, without fear. 

     Thanks again for reading and I would be glad to talk to anyone that may want to hear more. I'm an overcomer...by His Power and His Blood. And He IS the reason I'm here. 

In HIS Grip 

Val