How Will You Handle It?

A curve, a speed bump, a fork in the road…changes in life sometimes spring out of the blue. Some changes are planned, some are a surprise and some just leave you shaking your head, or a slight tilt with the response of, "really?" 

I'm not a panicker.  (is that a word?) I take life pretty much in stride. I do get stressed and it tends to bring about some small health issues, but for the most part, I don't panic. A friend once said, "Valarie, I don't think your life has ever been dull!" She was so very right. It never has been. I will say, however, the last couple of years have been downright crazy! (that's an understatement) There have been valleys, changes, regrets, pain, sorrow, grief and junk! If I went into everything that has happened, I would be well on my way to writing a novel. 

But here's the key in all of this; how we handle all this "stuff" is very important. You see, the world is watching, especially when you are a believer in Christ. People watch to see you slip up, go nuts, or totally lose your sense of composure or worse, your faith. They wait for you to get mad at God or to turn your back on your beliefs. 

Now, with everything that has happened, it would be understandable if my faith wavered  or my trust with God came into question…but it hasn't. My faith and trust in mankind has been rocked, but that's a given. When you experience loss, albeit in death or in life, you grieve. You grieve the things that used to be or you grieve the people you once had in your life. Whether they have passed on or exited some other way. I've experienced both sides in the last couple or more. My faith has been tested for sure. My marriage has been rocked in a way that I would have never imagined. My belief in myself as a wife and a mother has been taken to the depths of almost self-wallowing. 

There was this song that was very popular years back by a band called, Chumbawamba. The chorus  goes: "I get knocked down, but I get up again. You're never gonna keep me down" Yeah, you remember it! Well, that is my motto! Truly. But an even better Chorus or in this case verse of scripture goes: "I am pressed but not crushed, persecuted, not abandoned, struck down but not destroyed" (2 Corinthians 4:8-10).  Many of you know that one too. It's a better motto to live by, because the end of that says, I am blessed beyond the curse for His promise will endure, and His joy's gonna be my strength. That’s the Joy of The Lord!

With each “thing” that comes about, I get a little knocked down…but I do get back up again. Sometimes it amazes me how people are afraid to approach you when “things happen”. They don’t know what to say, I guess. But I am here to tell you….I’m not afraid to talk about it. I’m not afraid to tell you about my struggles, my heartaches, my bad choices or the consequences that have come from those choices.  I’m also not afraid to tell you that I love Jesus and He truly is my rock that I focus on. It’s what keeps me going…and it’s what keeps my family together, loving each other through this thing called life! Chris and I made a promise a long time ago that no matter what…we would make it! We would persevere. One day at a time. That promise has been tested…time and again but  here we are, still making it…one day at a time. It wouldn't be possible without this one little (or big) thing called, Forgiveness. We've had to have a LOT of it. 

So I ask you…How will you handle it? It is your testimony and honestly, you never know who is watching or who may just need to know your story. We all need to be encouraged. We need to be lifted up. That’s the roll of The Body. And even if you are not a Christ follower…the same applies. Love others!

Thanks for reading!

Memories and Life

Not to be taken for granted...this thing we call life. Things change in a fleeting moment. 

Watching the coverage of the Boston Marathon Bombings has brought back some crazy feelings from my own experiences in life. This week we will gather as we have done each year since 1995 to remember those who fell to home soil terrorism. Do you remember where you were? Did you have a loved one involved?

I did. My father was a long time employee of the Veterans Administration as a Benefits Counselor. His office was located on the 5th floor of the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building. He survived but not without great emotional and physical pain. Up until I lost my dad this last June, he continued to feel the effects of this tragedy. Every day, bits of glass would come to the surface on his body. Dad's whole body looked like a war zone of sorts after that day. His body pelted with glass and shrapnel from the blast. He lost an eye and completely severed the tendons in his left wrist. The emotional scars were always the worst, however. He retired from the job he loved but did not become complacent in his quest to seek justice for the 168 (19 of those being children) who lost their lives in this tragic event that was classified as the worst terrorist act on U.S. soil until the September 11th tragedy.  No, my father did not sit idle afterwards. He went to the McVeigh trial, he helped with the organization of the memorial and after 9/11, he became an advocate for those survivors as well. Dad closely worked with the 9/11 delegation to help bring about closure for them as he continued to seek his own closure. 
This Thursday night, he will be honored by some of the 9/11 delegation as they will be here for the anniversary services Friday morning. Our family and some of the other OKC delegation along with the New York delegation will gather and remember my dad for his heart and love for others. I'm humbled....so deeply humbled.

Life is not promised....not one single day. Take time to love people. Love is the strongest when it is being given away. The return is seven fold. Why waste your time in the bowels of hatred. Where does it get you? 
Continue to pray for all the families that have been and are now being affected by terrorism. By tragic events, by senseless acts of hate. Hold tight to what is present....you never know how long you will have it. 

Now go! And share your love! 

                                                                                                                Picture taken April 19th 2012. Dad left this earth, June 18th 2012. 

A Day In the Life

So....
It's been a long time since I have posted to the 'ole blog.
I do like writing but I have always been a bit apprehensive about just out right blogging my feelings. I mean, I don't know why. I have an opinion and I don't mind writing about it. I have some thoughts that I wish to be published out there but yet, I hold back on those.
Have you ever had such a conviction that you just HAD to write about it? Yeah? Me too! Problem is...I seem to be held to this other standard. This thing that prevents me from really just putting it all out there.
I am not sure how I am to feel about that, really. I am a pastor's wife, but I have a ton of things I wish I could just post and vent and ...well, just let hang!
So I guesss...let this be the first of a segment of blogs that begin to explain a little more into the mind of Val Gray. The mom and wife of the infamous Gray Clan.
We really do have a ton of "stuff" that most of you out there would just flock to.....but maybe I'll just take it a day at a time.
Yeah, ...................that's it!
A day at a time!
Sweet Jesus!

Blessed and Loved...Indeed!

So, yesterday was mine and my son, Andrew's birthdays. Only yesterday by an hour or so...but yesterday official. 
It was a blessed day, but a busy day. On my Facebook account, I had so many posts from well wishers that I can't even begin to explain in words how blessed I feel. My heart is just so full. So many lovely comments and it just makes one feel so loved! 
People really do need to feel love. Have you thought about that before in detail? Maybe it isn't a big deal to some, but as human beings, it is nature to need and feel love. We were created for such. The greatest commandment is to love. When we marry...hopefully, it's for love. We exchange these words to others...day in, day out. "I love you".  Love is an emotion and a feeling that most everyone needs and desires. 
What happens when it isn't felt? What happens when people go without that love. When they go without such blessings in their life?  That attention from others? Have you seen people who sit in corners, by themselves? Have you wondered why they are alone? 
Often times it's not for the reason you think.  Perhaps if we take a step out of our own comfort zones and just simply say hello...we might bridge a gap and make a day. A simple hello can go so far in the life of one who is lonely and afraid. 
I am not one to stray away from a person who is sitting there alone. I will walk up to a perfect stranger and strike up conversation. Now this isn't for everyone, of course, but I guess we all can't be Will Rogers, now can we? But, is it really that hard to just say, "hello"? I don't think so. Are you really that busy? Again...I don't think so! 
When is it that we became so self-involved that others around us disappear? 
If you are a Christian, then you would see these people as Jesus did. There would be nothing that would stop you from going right up to them and striking up conversation. Oh, I know what some are saying...."but you don't know what they may be carrying or the trouble they may be in". Sure...I'll give you that, but Jesus said, " Go" into all the World and make disciples...."GO" That word is pretty specific in and of itself. Simple...just go. Nothing too hard about that now is there? 


I think if we all tried to get beyond ourselves and just Go, LOVE and tell....man! What kind of world would we be a part of?    Super! 


Thanks for reading!

A New Year

Well, A new school year is about to begin. I will be teaching music at our Learning Center one day a week at church, AJ will be a student there three days a week  and Tate has decided to go back to public school. We tried to get him into a different school district than the one we are in, but this district would not release him to the other one...so here we are. The district we live in is not one of the best schools, but we are remaining optimistic and encouraging Tate to be the light within that school. 


I'm NOT ready for the new year. I like Summer vacation....I quite honestly wish it would never end. I enjoy having my children around. Even if we never do anything, it's still nice spending that time with them. Now I'll admit, that some days get boring, but all in all I do enjoy my time with my family. I don't like to push my kids out the door. They grow up far too fast. Before you know it, they are grown up and out of the house. They will be having families of their own. So yes...I'm one of those that wishes Summer lasted forever. 


Andrew is getting ready to turn 20 in a couple of days. He and I share a birthday. That has always been so special to me. He is still in the home too. I'm good with that as well! He's no trouble and he helps so much with AJ. I guess you would say that I'm just not the norm. Most parents are anxiously awaiting the day that their kids move out. Not me. I have two older children that I missed out on a LOT of time and I will never get that back. I cherish each and every moment I can get. I would say to you....do that! Cherish each and every moment with your family. Your children. We are not promised one day on this earth and we just simply need to embrace every day we have been given. 


Life is a gift....
Embrace it!
Cherish it!


Take time in this new school year to enjoy every moment!


Thanks for reading. 

In Time.....

It seems of late that the bottom keeps falling out. It's like that "Murphy's Law" of life stuff day after day. You remember the one, "what can go wrong, will go wrong" 


Trials...they only make you strong, right? They give us a testimony to share with others about how God has equipped us to make it through. I don't doubt at all that He is there and with each mess, with every single issue that arises, I know that He will take care of it! I try to stay focused on that truth. Does it mean that I don't get frustrated or show my irritations openly? Of course not...I am, after-all, human. I have never pretended to "have it all together". 


One of my life verses has always been and shall remain Philippians 4:12-13. I prefer it in The Message translation. 


"I've learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I'm just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I've found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am."


It really does help to keep that perspective when dealing with troubles.  Be content...because, In time...it all works out. God always works out the details of our lives. He has that plan. We don't. I would like to think that I could muster up a master plan to make it all succeed for the best...but there is truly only one Master Planner. 


We would all do good to keep our eyes focused heavenward and continue to let Him do His job. He has far more experience than any of us anyway. I know, that I know, that I know.....In time. 


Thanks for reading

The Sigh

Read a great Max Lucado post today. I subscribe to his works, and this one really hit home. It was titled, "When God Sighed". He references Mark 7: 31-35. 

Mark 7:31-35 (New International Version)

The Healing of a Deaf and Mute Man

 ³¹Then Jesus left the vicinity of Tyre and went through Sidon, down to the Sea of Galilee and into the region of the Decapolis.^[a] 32There some people brought to him a man who was deaf and could hardly talk, and they begged him to place his hand on the man. ³³After he took him aside, away from the crowd, Jesus put his fingers into the man's ears. Then he spit and touched the man's tongue. ³⁴He looked up to heaven and with a deep sigh said to him, "Ephphatha!" (which means, "Be opened!" ). ³⁵At this, the man's ears were opened, his tongue was loosened and he began to speak plainly.


Max talked about the word, "sigh" and it's meaning. Dictionary.com says: 1. to let out one's breath audibly, as from sorrow, weariness or relief. 2. to yearn or long; pine
Now, I am sure that the #1 meaning was the sound that was made, but Max stated that when Jesus let out that deep sigh, prior to saying "Ephphatha!", that the sigh described is one of a hybrid of frustration and sadness. It lies somewhere between a fit of anger and burst of tears. 
This is where I am. These are my sighs of late and when I post my frustrations and my sighs, this is the best way to describe what they are. Sometimes I feel burdened to speak out, yet because of my "position", I need to hold tight, the reins of my mouth and attitude.  Perhaps, I feel a bit better knowing that Jesus let go of such feelings as well. After-all, he was known to turn over a table or two in the temple. (see Matthew 21) It's all about a righteous anger.  I guess I struggle with just leaving it with a deep sigh. (I tend to open my mouth) My heavy heart on many issues speaks out and my flesh wants to bite back. I need to practice looking into the heavens and do more deep sighing. 
I'd probably stay out of trouble that way. :) 
So, when you see me "sighing"....you might understand a little bit more. No, I'm not always sighing that deeply, but there is a point to them.  


Thanks for reading :)