Pink Fluff, Brussels Sprouts, Mickey Mouse and Frogs!

Title caught your eye?  I’m sure it did. 

There is good reason for it.  You see, this is about my Mother-in-love, the memories that I have and want to share with all of you who take the time to read this. I have remained pretty quiet for awhile on this subject but feel it is time to write it out.

Selfie Fun

About two years ago Chris and I moved back to Edmond, OK to help his parents out a little. We moved into their house and they purchased a home across the street. This is the second time in our marriage that we have lived across the street from them.  (side story, funny story is that Chris had once told his dad that he would NEVER live in the same town as them….) Anyway…obviously that didn't stick, but I’m glad it didn't!  Ann’s health was not good as she had been diagnosed with this disease that we had never heard of before.  PSP—(Progressive Supra-nuclear Palsy)…I like to say it is Parkinson’s on steroids.  It is an ugly, unfair, horribly debilitating disease. It robs you of life…that’s simply put. 

So for the last two years plus, we have all watched mom not BE mom anymore. In the last year especially, I have been there to see it personally up close. I quit my job working at the school here in Edmond, so I could be more available to help dad with mom.  I do NOT regret one second of that time. Even though I have been a member of this family of Grays for 25 years, (Chris and I will celebrate our 25^th Anniversary on February 17^th and it was Tom and Ann’s wedding anniversary as well as Tom’s Birthday.)  The last two years of this life have been such a reward…such a huge blessing to me. I have been privy to the inside life of my in-loves.  (Yes, I call them in-loves because I have never liked the term in-laws.) I have heard stories and have gotten so much closer to these two people who sacrificed much for the love of their family…their children.  I have seen into the years that both Tom and Ann grew up.  I am so much richer knowing all this…truly!

As mom’s illness took more and more away from her, the closer I stepped in to help dad. Now THERE is a man that needs to be rewarded for his time and his patience taking care of his beloved.   Daily tending to her needs, and at times ignoring his own, I watched his love in action. It was like attending a class on how to love your spouse. There are not many marriages out there where this kind of sacrificial love still exists. Lord, let my marriage be a model of that love. Let this be seen to our children. That is truly my prayer.

So back to the title…those memories.  Pink Fluff was always the dish that was present at the table of all our family gatherings, celebrations and more. Brussels  Sprouts was the dish that she was so excited to have her family try many years ago that turned into nobody ever eating again! (Truly a funny story) Mickey Mouse was the character that she so enjoyed and had many mementos of that around her house for years as well as the Frogs!  Her best friend, Nomes (Naomi), would always bring her a new one to have for her collection.  These are just the tip of things. My blog would be so long if I included all the things that were brought to my mind. But the memories that I will hold the dearest are the times spent in this last 6 months. As I was needed more across the street, I grew closer to mom and who she really was. God allowed me to see into her heart. The heart she had for her husband, her kids and oh my goodness…the Grand kids and Great-Grand kids. They were her life.  What an honor it has been for me to have been witness to such love. Our talks, even though towards the end she wouldn't remember them, were some that I hold so close to my own heart. I can only aspire to be the loving mother and dutiful, respectful wife that she was. I pray that some of that rubbed off on me!  She was the epitome of The Proverbs 31 woman.  How richly blessed my life has been to be able to be there…to love her…to help take care of her right till the end. To sing to her, the hymns and songs that she wanted me to. To laugh over situations that took place while I cared for her. (TMI…can’t share those) To see the love between her and Tom and know beyond a shadow of doubt, that I want THAT!  To know that NOTHING is too big in my marriage that cannot be overcome or talked about. That the love of Jesus permeated through her soul and to the outside world. If you knew Ann…you will agree. If you didn't…I’m so sorry that you couldn't have gotten to know one of the greatest people out there.

Don’t let life get in the way of loving your family. Don’t let things interrupt the time that you have been given to make a difference. Love deeply…oh so deeply the ones that you hold so close. And never, EVER take any of it for granted!

Thank you Ann,  “Annie” MOM…  I love you long time and will miss you so much.

A Little Walk with Jesus

This is where I walk. There are trails all through this property. It's beautiful and it's peaceful. I like spending time with God when I walk and this place is a great place to do that.
I purchased a devotional app for my phone and it has audio messages. I can listen to the Word while I walk and commune with God in a way that is hard in my busy life as a Wife, Mom, Daughter and every other title that could be placed upon me. But really, I busy myself with whatever I want to do sometimes too and I need to remember that quiet time with God is oh so important. I don't have the plan...He does! I am not in control...He is! One of my favorite scriptures is found in Jeremiah, chapter 29, verse 11. It's a pretty well known scripture. I prefer to read it in The Message translation. 

"I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for."

No matter what storms, trials, junk, whatever you want to call it...God will never abandon you. He knows the plan...it's all figured out.  Later in that book, Chapter 30, verse 17 says:

"For I will restore health to you,and your wounds I will heal,
declares the Lord, because they have called you an outcast:..."

This verse has great meaning to me. I've walked through most of my life feeling like an outcast. But the great truth here is that God doesn't see me that way. When Jesus walked the Earth, he did most of his ministering outside the gates. He spoke to and loved on the outcasts. He didn't spend a lot of time in temples, on a stage preaching. He didn't pound any pulpits to get His message across. He was out with the people. By the springs, in the valleys, through the mountains, in the sticks and on boats on the river. He walked a LOT. Sometimes, I imagine to myself, during my walks, that I am following Him...walking along with him and the disciples listening to His messages and watching the healing and transformation of lives first hand!

When God spoke the words, "I will restore you to health and heal your wounds", He meant that, and it still applies today. You don't have to feel like an outcast for whatever reason. He sees you as whole, redeemed and renewed. His child, who He is greatly pleased. You are highly favored!  So walk along with Him and know that it doesn't matter what others think about you...because your Abba Father in Heaven says you are the BEST!

Go Shine!
Val

My Testimony...Part 4

     Thanks for sticking with me this far. This will be the final installment of my testimonial blog. This particular part will be the hardest part for me to put into words. I know I am supposed to share, but it comes with a lot of fear and uncertainty of what will come next. However, I know who God says I am and I KNOW that He loves me just as much if not even more for getting through this. So here goes....

I'll pick up where I left off. Two years of strife, junk, grief, heartache, depression. Yes, the biggest junk happened many more years ago, but it seems like it all came

tumbling down upon me within that two year time frame. Dealing with the issues in my personal life, church life, and family life got the better of me. There was a lot going on and I kept telling God that He must think I can handle it...cause it just kept coming. Problem here was, I wasn't taking the issues where I needed to. I wasn't pressing into God like I knew I should. So, you are probably asking about now, what did I do? How was I handling it all? Well, I started a one step program called, Drinking. I started drowning all the issues and stresses with alcohol. It started off slow...I have a liking for wine. Then the wine wasn't enough, so I added beer and soon after that,  hard liquor. I would drink every night to numb the pain of all that was going on. I became numb to life in general. Pretty apathetic to a lot of things, yet on the outside, I was peachy! On the inside,  I was angry, bitter and wondered what did I do to deserve all this junk (grief).  During this time my father became sick. He eventually went on to be with Jesus and that only made my issues worse. Tomorrow, June 18th will be the 2 year anniversary of his passing. Father's day is very hard for me now, then tack on an anniversary of death and it gets pretty depressing.

     Long and the short of this ordeal is this:  God didn't leave me where I was. He wrapped His arms around me and said this to me. It was so clear..."Val, my daughter, you were meant for so much more than this. You are my child and you have to look up now. Lay down the alcohol and choose life."  It was such a clear voice to me. So I did. On my face I cried and prayed and told God that I will do as He has asked. 1 year and 2 months ago...I laid it down for good. Not one drink since. I am proud of that and I vowed that I would remain an open vessel for His purpose and Glory in the end. 

     So that is why I share and I truly hope that there is just one life touched through this...cause that would be enough for me. To make a difference...To share Jesus, without fear. 

     Thanks again for reading and I would be glad to talk to anyone that may want to hear more. I'm an overcomer...by His Power and His Blood. And He IS the reason I'm here. 

In HIS Grip 

Val 

My Testimony...Part 3

     Okay, so if you have been keeping count...in my journey, I now am a mom of 4. Blessed with 3 boys and 1 girl! Church life is booming and we are busy doing all kinds of ministry work. Camps and VBS and all that stuff that goes along with Children's ministry. When my two oldest kids would come for visits, they too would come to church and became involved with the youth group. I would go to Falls Creek (youth camp) with them, and it was there that I realized I needed to be more involved with youth. Chris was doing a great job with the children, and he had lots of awesome volunteers. I felt I had more to offer to the youth because of my own testimony. I continued doing camp work through the next few years. I spent many a week as a head staffer for Summit Camps. Those were some of the best Summers of my life. I love Youth Camp!

     After almost 8 years of ministry at Baptist Temple, Chris and I were called to a new church...NEWCHURCH. That's the name. :) It was very hard to leave BT and the people there. They were family to us.They helped me get through some very hard times personally, through lots of prayer!  But when God calls, you answer! The work that God had begun in me was JUST getting started. If things were not already rough having to battle the evil one already, this move took on a whole new realm of battle. As a couple, our choices made earlier in our marriage didn't go away...they followed us! They followed us because we kept those doors open. If there is anything I have learned in this journey, it is CLOSE DOORS! No matter what that door may be. I would love to be more specific here, but this is my testimony and I can only share the things that God says I should share. It's my journey that I am led to talk about, in hopes that someone else might glean from it. Remember that verse..."we overcome by the blood/power of the lamb, and by the word of our testimony. Sharing is every bit as much for me as it is for someone else.

     Chris served as Associate Children's minister when we first started at NEWCHURCH. I tried out for the Praise/Worship team. I love singing for Jesus and I love helping to lead others to the throne of worship. Singing is something I love to do and on any given day, you might drive by my house and hear me at the top of my lungs. (when I'm by myself usually) or catch me in the car...yes! I love car singing. It brings me joy! Back to the story...We were trucking along, and all was well.Then an out of the blue surprise hit us! A precious little life was growing inside of me. We thought we were done on the kid thing, but God had another plan."For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord..." Jeremiah 29:11a.  So now the count is at 5 kids! 4 boys and 1 girl. That little life would become a saving grace for me, but not before another attack,  on me, on our marriage. Some things came to light and a rug or sorts was pulled out from under us. Truth revealed!  This was a good thing, really, but it was a setback that in most cases would have destroyed a marriage.   I began to have some troubles in different areas as well. Some my fault, others not so much, but that isn't important. There were troubles and I didn't handle any of it the way I should have. I wish sometimes that the whole truth would come forth, but I know that God is in control of all things that happen. This is where my big downward spiral began. Depression started to set in. I started to question my faith because of what was happening. Then my daddy got sick. His health hadn't always been too great, but this was much bigger. In 2 years time, several things happened in my personal/church life. Big things...

To be continued...

My Testimony...Part 2

Grief...the dictionary's definition is as follows.

  keen mental suffering or distress over affliction or loss; sharp sorrow;  painful regret.

To some degree, we all are in a state of grief. So many things happen in our lives that we have a hard time dealing with, overcoming and letting go. I think my grief began early on in my life. My parents divorcing impacted me a lot more than I knew. The things that followed in my life began to mold my thinking about what a marriage is. When you have a distorted view of such things, it impacts your life. In more ways than you would imagine. Yes, I grew up and had a good life as a youth, but went on to my own marriage and family, only to repeat the same as my parents. I went to church as a young girl and was Baptized as well, but I truly do not believe that I knew what I was doing. I didn't  live my life for Jesus then. Yes, I believed in Him, but I did not live like I knew him most times.

When I got married, I didn't go to church and neither did the rest of my family. (husband and kids) When I thought about it, satan did everything in his power to place things in the way. He's been doing that all my life. It's his job. After the divorce, I still didn't go to church. In fact...I made myself so busy that I didn't make time. I worked two jobs and tried to continue my education. Two years after the divorce, I remarried. He was my knight in shining armor that came to rescue me from the muck and the mire. He protected me from my ownself, most times. The blended family was in full swing and a rocky road it was. Chris and I didn't live our lives for Christ at first either. We partied most weekends, and did what we wanted to do. Our first child came along shortly after we were married...4 years later, our 2nd child arrived. Both boys. It was shortly after the birth of our second son, that we began going to church. This is where God began to take my already deep seated grief and begin a work in me. Not long after we had been going to church regularly, the pastor of the church approached Chris and I about ministry work. Yes...you read that right. He asked us to come aboard as staff in the preschool ministry. It was something that hadn't really been done before. A husband and wife team. We prayed about it, and decided that this was indeed what God wanted, so in 1996, Chris and I surrendered to the ministry as Preschool Coordinators at Baptist Temple Church in Oklahoma City and went on to the entire Children's Ministry. Satan was NOT happy at all now! How could this be...I thought I had them.  A new round of grief began for me. The attacks of the evil one were harsh for not only me but for my husband. When you are living for Jesus, and doing right, you will know it, because the attack on your life will grow. I truly believe in the statement, "You must be doing something right, if you are in the middle of heavy persecution." Satan doesn't have a problem with those who aren't following the Lord. He picks on the ones following.

During our ministry at BT, things happened. Our lives were changed in so many positive ways, but also some not so positive ways. We were challenged, both in ministry and in our marriage. Chris ministered Bi-vocationally there, so a "real job" was going on too. Things happened in our marriage and our personal lives that we are not proud of at all. Choices that would forever remain in our memories.  When you come into marriage with junk (grief), and you add a little more junk (grief) to the mix...it is hard to manage the load. Junk...we ALL have it. Learning to let go of it...unpack that bag of junk...leave it on the curb. Not easy stuff. Yes...even for ministers and their family.

To be continued.....

My Testimony... Part 1

It's always best to start at the beginning when telling a story, so I will begin this trip in such a way.

     I was born in San Antonio, but grew up in a SMALL town here in Oklahoma. I love the town I grew up in. I would live in a small town again too. I love the community that small towns bring. Sure, you have the typical small town stuff that goes on...like everybody knows EVERYBODY'S business, and that held true for me. If you are in...you are in, but if not....well....you know. I wasn't really "in". I wasn't popular but that's okay. When I was about four years old, my parents divorced. So began the blended family life. My mother remarried a few years after and that man remained my step-father until his death almost 8 years ago. My dad remarried...a few times. :) I believe we became the textbook definition of Blended Family. LOL. I won't complain too much about this, because I gained great perspective from each of those marriages. I had a good youth and I had fun. I do not regret or wish for better.

     When I was a Senior in Highschool, I got pregnant and was married. I finished school, graduated and went on to be a wife and mother of two wonderful kids, talented and awesome in every way. I accomplished this feat all by age 19. Yes...a baby having babies and I had no idea what I was doing. I did know beyond a shadow of any doubt that I loved them beyond what I thought possible and still do to this day!

     Something seemed missing to me and I became a statistic of sorts when I decided to leave my marriage. 5 years I made it, until I felt I couldn't do it anymore. It wasn't for lack of love...because I loved. I was lost, I guess. I wanted the best for my kids and didn't want them to have to be uprooted from the only home they knew, so along with their father, we decided for joint custody arrangement and they would continue to live with him.  The years following were tough years for me. Divorce is hard...and it's hardest on the children. I don't remember the hard parts of divorce from my childhood. My parents did a good job of keeping the "junk" away from my brother and I. I can't say I did the same. Again...tough years for all concerned. We both remarried and blended family once again...now for my children. Here is where a great amount of grace and mercy enters in...because God sustained me and I believe this is where my growth began. I remain thankful to this day for the stepparent in my kids life. I didn't always feel that way,  but I know she took very good care of them and loves them deeply. I'm also very thankful to my husband, because it takes a big person to love another person's children. Both stepparents here have loved sacrificially.
Those two kids are now grown and have kids of their own...I'm so very proud of them. They made it, in spite of their mother's hang ups early on. I'm thankful for my relationship with them both.

    This is where I will end part 1.   I've heard when sharing your life or testimony that you keep as brief as you can, but point out the main things. I'm about to turn 50 years old in a couple of months and keeping my life brief is not really easy! But I will try.

Thanks for reading this far and I'll try and get part 2 out soon.

Be blessed,
Val

Return...

So many times I come on here and type out a blog and then I erase it. Yeah...all those words and then I just delete, delete, delete. Most times it is best that it happens that way. I'm sure there were things I jotted down that really didn't need to be out there in the world of the unknown cyberspace. However, there are some blogs that really needed to be seen. Just for the sake of another gaining some perspective or help.  You see...we overcome by the blood and by the word/power of our testimony.  ( Revelation 12:11) Our testimony is huge! It plays a big part in our striving to not be Of the World. When you go through your toils, and your pain...when Christ has seen you through the muck and the junk...we need to testify to this, so others will see where your grace and mercy has come from and glorify God for that! We are to share...we are to live our lives as a reflection of what the Savior has done.

Okay...the point of this is to let you know, that as I approach the anniversary of my father's passing from this life, that I am feeling and unction to share some of my own testimony. The parts that I can share freely. It's been a hard road for the last few years and I know I still have a ways to go before I can say..."I'm good". Meaning that I have dealt with all and totally forgiven all. Actually...I believe we will, to some degree, deal with things all the time.  I do remain in Grace and I know that what I have asked forgiveness for is truly forgiven...from my maker. The other areas are not for me to worry about. I have forgiven things/people and it's not for me to keep tabs on their forgiveness. I have to let that go.

So, I give you a heads up of sorts to be on the lookout for this testimonial blog writing. It will take me a bit to formulate what and how to share. But I know it should be shared. It's part of my overcoming!  This will not be a blog about other people and what they've done to me. That's not what this is about at all. It's about what I have done and how my relationship with Jesus has pulled me up out of the muck and mire to spiritual renewal and awakening. Still working on that...but I KNOW that God has that plan and I'm all in for what it is!

Make today a blessed one, friends and don't forget Who gave it to you!

In His Grip,
Val

It's In the Quiet Times

Where can I go from Your Spirit?Or where can I flee from Your presencePsalm 139:7

Today, on my walk/run, I chose to not listen to my usual Pandora selection. (80's workout Radio). I needed to be able to listen...listen to God. I firmly believe that in our prayer time, He sometimes just wants us to listen. Trust me, He knows our heart. He knows our needs, even before we tell Him. So, in this silence, aside from my pedometer app ticking away at my goal, I listened and watched my surroundings. His presence truly is everywhere and He answers us in the very things around us. The wind, the trees, the birds. Gentle whispers from Him are heard. Every time I walk, I see a rabbit. It's pretty tame and I talk to it...only briefly. Today was no different with the rabbit, however, there were new things for me to see. God winks, I call them. 
I come from a large family and part of that large family is a very musical family. I have very fond, wonderful memories of a family circle around a piano with my Granny Cash playing and my daddy on the guitar. We would all sing and sing and sing some more. Nothing gave my Granny more pleasure than those times. It's a circle that I miss so much. 
   So what brings to mind all this thought? It was in my walk today. I desperately needed God to remind me of what is truly important. And in His wonderful way, He did. Two things were brought to my attention on my outing. A Roadrunner and a Butterfly. Odd combo, for sure...and I honestly can't tell you how long it has been since I've seen a Roadrunner. These two things are important in my request to God today. You see, my Granny Cash loved Roadrunners and Butterflies. They were her calling cards so to speak. She was almost, always seen wearing a Roadrunner pin on her lapel and a Butterfly pin on her back shoulder. (cause that is where a butterfly would sit, don't ya know?) What made this even cooler is that where I walk is in close proximity to the last place of residence of my Granny Cash. 
Those items were a great God wink to help me remember family...family is so important. It's the very thing that helps to mold us. Our memories of younger days...simpler days. Oh, that life could be as simple as it once was. I miss those times so much...I miss singing and sharing my heart that way. It's who I am. So much joy came from those family circle times. (Dominoes, Wahoo, and Chipper ice cream are right up there too, of course) This is only a part of my family life when I was a child. But it's what God wanted me to remember today. And I am so thankful He showed me!

♫ May the circle, be unbroken
By and by Lord, By and by. 
There's a better home a waiting
In the sky Lord, In the sky. ♫

Thanks for reading!

How Will You Handle It?

A curve, a speed bump, a fork in the road…changes in life sometimes spring out of the blue. Some changes are planned, some are a surprise and some just leave you shaking your head, or a slight tilt with the response of, "really?" 

I'm not a panicker.  (is that a word?) I take life pretty much in stride. I do get stressed and it tends to bring about some small health issues, but for the most part, I don't panic. A friend once said, "Valarie, I don't think your life has ever been dull!" She was so very right. It never has been. I will say, however, the last couple of years have been downright crazy! (that's an understatement) There have been valleys, changes, regrets, pain, sorrow, grief and junk! If I went into everything that has happened, I would be well on my way to writing a novel. 

But here's the key in all of this; how we handle all this "stuff" is very important. You see, the world is watching, especially when you are a believer in Christ. People watch to see you slip up, go nuts, or totally lose your sense of composure or worse, your faith. They wait for you to get mad at God or to turn your back on your beliefs. 

Now, with everything that has happened, it would be understandable if my faith wavered  or my trust with God came into question…but it hasn't. My faith and trust in mankind has been rocked, but that's a given. When you experience loss, albeit in death or in life, you grieve. You grieve the things that used to be or you grieve the people you once had in your life. Whether they have passed on or exited some other way. I've experienced both sides in the last couple or more. My faith has been tested for sure. My marriage has been rocked in a way that I would have never imagined. My belief in myself as a wife and a mother has been taken to the depths of almost self-wallowing. 

There was this song that was very popular years back by a band called, Chumbawamba. The chorus  goes: "I get knocked down, but I get up again. You're never gonna keep me down" Yeah, you remember it! Well, that is my motto! Truly. But an even better Chorus or in this case verse of scripture goes: "I am pressed but not crushed, persecuted, not abandoned, struck down but not destroyed" (2 Corinthians 4:8-10).  Many of you know that one too. It's a better motto to live by, because the end of that says, I am blessed beyond the curse for His promise will endure, and His joy's gonna be my strength. That’s the Joy of The Lord!

With each “thing” that comes about, I get a little knocked down…but I do get back up again. Sometimes it amazes me how people are afraid to approach you when “things happen”. They don’t know what to say, I guess. But I am here to tell you….I’m not afraid to talk about it. I’m not afraid to tell you about my struggles, my heartaches, my bad choices or the consequences that have come from those choices.  I’m also not afraid to tell you that I love Jesus and He truly is my rock that I focus on. It’s what keeps me going…and it’s what keeps my family together, loving each other through this thing called life! Chris and I made a promise a long time ago that no matter what…we would make it! We would persevere. One day at a time. That promise has been tested…time and again but  here we are, still making it…one day at a time. It wouldn't be possible without this one little (or big) thing called, Forgiveness. We've had to have a LOT of it. 

So I ask you…How will you handle it? It is your testimony and honestly, you never know who is watching or who may just need to know your story. We all need to be encouraged. We need to be lifted up. That’s the roll of The Body. And even if you are not a Christ follower…the same applies. Love others!

Thanks for reading!

Memories and Life

Not to be taken for granted...this thing we call life. Things change in a fleeting moment. 

Watching the coverage of the Boston Marathon Bombings has brought back some crazy feelings from my own experiences in life. This week we will gather as we have done each year since 1995 to remember those who fell to home soil terrorism. Do you remember where you were? Did you have a loved one involved?

I did. My father was a long time employee of the Veterans Administration as a Benefits Counselor. His office was located on the 5th floor of the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building. He survived but not without great emotional and physical pain. Up until I lost my dad this last June, he continued to feel the effects of this tragedy. Every day, bits of glass would come to the surface on his body. Dad's whole body looked like a war zone of sorts after that day. His body pelted with glass and shrapnel from the blast. He lost an eye and completely severed the tendons in his left wrist. The emotional scars were always the worst, however. He retired from the job he loved but did not become complacent in his quest to seek justice for the 168 (19 of those being children) who lost their lives in this tragic event that was classified as the worst terrorist act on U.S. soil until the September 11th tragedy.  No, my father did not sit idle afterwards. He went to the McVeigh trial, he helped with the organization of the memorial and after 9/11, he became an advocate for those survivors as well. Dad closely worked with the 9/11 delegation to help bring about closure for them as he continued to seek his own closure. 
This Thursday night, he will be honored by some of the 9/11 delegation as they will be here for the anniversary services Friday morning. Our family and some of the other OKC delegation along with the New York delegation will gather and remember my dad for his heart and love for others. I'm humbled....so deeply humbled.

Life is not promised....not one single day. Take time to love people. Love is the strongest when it is being given away. The return is seven fold. Why waste your time in the bowels of hatred. Where does it get you? 
Continue to pray for all the families that have been and are now being affected by terrorism. By tragic events, by senseless acts of hate. Hold tight to what is present....you never know how long you will have it. 

Now go! And share your love! 

                                                                                                                Picture taken April 19th 2012. Dad left this earth, June 18th 2012. 

A Day In the Life

So....
It's been a long time since I have posted to the 'ole blog.
I do like writing but I have always been a bit apprehensive about just out right blogging my feelings. I mean, I don't know why. I have an opinion and I don't mind writing about it. I have some thoughts that I wish to be published out there but yet, I hold back on those.
Have you ever had such a conviction that you just HAD to write about it? Yeah? Me too! Problem is...I seem to be held to this other standard. This thing that prevents me from really just putting it all out there.
I am not sure how I am to feel about that, really. I am a pastor's wife, but I have a ton of things I wish I could just post and vent and ...well, just let hang!
So I guesss...let this be the first of a segment of blogs that begin to explain a little more into the mind of Val Gray. The mom and wife of the infamous Gray Clan.
We really do have a ton of "stuff" that most of you out there would just flock to.....but maybe I'll just take it a day at a time.
Yeah, ...................that's it!
A day at a time!
Sweet Jesus!

Blessed and Loved...Indeed!

So, yesterday was mine and my son, Andrew's birthdays. Only yesterday by an hour or so...but yesterday official. 
It was a blessed day, but a busy day. On my Facebook account, I had so many posts from well wishers that I can't even begin to explain in words how blessed I feel. My heart is just so full. So many lovely comments and it just makes one feel so loved! 
People really do need to feel love. Have you thought about that before in detail? Maybe it isn't a big deal to some, but as human beings, it is nature to need and feel love. We were created for such. The greatest commandment is to love. When we marry...hopefully, it's for love. We exchange these words to others...day in, day out. "I love you".  Love is an emotion and a feeling that most everyone needs and desires. 
What happens when it isn't felt? What happens when people go without that love. When they go without such blessings in their life?  That attention from others? Have you seen people who sit in corners, by themselves? Have you wondered why they are alone? 
Often times it's not for the reason you think.  Perhaps if we take a step out of our own comfort zones and just simply say hello...we might bridge a gap and make a day. A simple hello can go so far in the life of one who is lonely and afraid. 
I am not one to stray away from a person who is sitting there alone. I will walk up to a perfect stranger and strike up conversation. Now this isn't for everyone, of course, but I guess we all can't be Will Rogers, now can we? But, is it really that hard to just say, "hello"? I don't think so. Are you really that busy? Again...I don't think so! 
When is it that we became so self-involved that others around us disappear? 
If you are a Christian, then you would see these people as Jesus did. There would be nothing that would stop you from going right up to them and striking up conversation. Oh, I know what some are saying...."but you don't know what they may be carrying or the trouble they may be in". Sure...I'll give you that, but Jesus said, " Go" into all the World and make disciples...."GO" That word is pretty specific in and of itself. Simple...just go. Nothing too hard about that now is there? 


I think if we all tried to get beyond ourselves and just Go, LOVE and tell....man! What kind of world would we be a part of?    Super! 


Thanks for reading!

A New Year

Well, A new school year is about to begin. I will be teaching music at our Learning Center one day a week at church, AJ will be a student there three days a week  and Tate has decided to go back to public school. We tried to get him into a different school district than the one we are in, but this district would not release him to the other one...so here we are. The district we live in is not one of the best schools, but we are remaining optimistic and encouraging Tate to be the light within that school. 


I'm NOT ready for the new year. I like Summer vacation....I quite honestly wish it would never end. I enjoy having my children around. Even if we never do anything, it's still nice spending that time with them. Now I'll admit, that some days get boring, but all in all I do enjoy my time with my family. I don't like to push my kids out the door. They grow up far too fast. Before you know it, they are grown up and out of the house. They will be having families of their own. So yes...I'm one of those that wishes Summer lasted forever. 


Andrew is getting ready to turn 20 in a couple of days. He and I share a birthday. That has always been so special to me. He is still in the home too. I'm good with that as well! He's no trouble and he helps so much with AJ. I guess you would say that I'm just not the norm. Most parents are anxiously awaiting the day that their kids move out. Not me. I have two older children that I missed out on a LOT of time and I will never get that back. I cherish each and every moment I can get. I would say to you....do that! Cherish each and every moment with your family. Your children. We are not promised one day on this earth and we just simply need to embrace every day we have been given. 


Life is a gift....
Embrace it!
Cherish it!


Take time in this new school year to enjoy every moment!


Thanks for reading. 

In Time.....

It seems of late that the bottom keeps falling out. It's like that "Murphy's Law" of life stuff day after day. You remember the one, "what can go wrong, will go wrong" 


Trials...they only make you strong, right? They give us a testimony to share with others about how God has equipped us to make it through. I don't doubt at all that He is there and with each mess, with every single issue that arises, I know that He will take care of it! I try to stay focused on that truth. Does it mean that I don't get frustrated or show my irritations openly? Of course not...I am, after-all, human. I have never pretended to "have it all together". 


One of my life verses has always been and shall remain Philippians 4:12-13. I prefer it in The Message translation. 


"I've learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I'm just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I've found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am."


It really does help to keep that perspective when dealing with troubles.  Be content...because, In time...it all works out. God always works out the details of our lives. He has that plan. We don't. I would like to think that I could muster up a master plan to make it all succeed for the best...but there is truly only one Master Planner. 


We would all do good to keep our eyes focused heavenward and continue to let Him do His job. He has far more experience than any of us anyway. I know, that I know, that I know.....In time. 


Thanks for reading

The Sigh

Read a great Max Lucado post today. I subscribe to his works, and this one really hit home. It was titled, "When God Sighed". He references Mark 7: 31-35. 

Mark 7:31-35 (New International Version)

The Healing of a Deaf and Mute Man

 ³¹Then Jesus left the vicinity of Tyre and went through Sidon, down to the Sea of Galilee and into the region of the Decapolis.^[a] 32There some people brought to him a man who was deaf and could hardly talk, and they begged him to place his hand on the man. ³³After he took him aside, away from the crowd, Jesus put his fingers into the man's ears. Then he spit and touched the man's tongue. ³⁴He looked up to heaven and with a deep sigh said to him, "Ephphatha!" (which means, "Be opened!" ). ³⁵At this, the man's ears were opened, his tongue was loosened and he began to speak plainly.


Max talked about the word, "sigh" and it's meaning. Dictionary.com says: 1. to let out one's breath audibly, as from sorrow, weariness or relief. 2. to yearn or long; pine
Now, I am sure that the #1 meaning was the sound that was made, but Max stated that when Jesus let out that deep sigh, prior to saying "Ephphatha!", that the sigh described is one of a hybrid of frustration and sadness. It lies somewhere between a fit of anger and burst of tears. 
This is where I am. These are my sighs of late and when I post my frustrations and my sighs, this is the best way to describe what they are. Sometimes I feel burdened to speak out, yet because of my "position", I need to hold tight, the reins of my mouth and attitude.  Perhaps, I feel a bit better knowing that Jesus let go of such feelings as well. After-all, he was known to turn over a table or two in the temple. (see Matthew 21) It's all about a righteous anger.  I guess I struggle with just leaving it with a deep sigh. (I tend to open my mouth) My heavy heart on many issues speaks out and my flesh wants to bite back. I need to practice looking into the heavens and do more deep sighing. 
I'd probably stay out of trouble that way. :) 
So, when you see me "sighing"....you might understand a little bit more. No, I'm not always sighing that deeply, but there is a point to them.  


Thanks for reading :)

It's Hot!

That it is!

But you will NOT hear me complain. Here in Oklahoma, our weather seems to be a bit on the Bi-polar side of life. I seriously think at times, it needs some medication. Don't quite know what that would be, but it's truly been a wild weather year for us so far. Currently we are experiencing some 92 degree weather with a heat index of 103. Now...I know that isn't extreme temps for some folks out there. But when you throw in that crazy humidity that we Okies seem to get, it's pretty sticky, miserable.

I live in a two story, brick home. Built in 1937, this home doesn't offer much on efficiency. Meaning, there are a lot of drafts, and insulation issues. It also has a pretty old a/c unit that we haven't run for the last 3 yrs now. We have window units in 4 rooms of the house. It keeps us cool enough, but probably not as efficient as should be. Times are tough and right now, that's what we do. God will provide in time for a new unit.

I think to myself about the heat and just how bearable is it? I mean...true, it's hot and I am thankful that I don't work out in it nor does my husband or children, unless you count my son-in-love being a police officer and having to wear a hot uniform in this mess...however...when you think about future and eternity and what the Bible talks of where will you go when you die...I think this is pretty darn cool, comparatively speaking.

I'm thankful that I know my future. I'm thankful that I know the answer to the question, "when I die, where will I go?" My future is secure in an eternal home with my Savior, Jesus Christ. The alternative would be a place where, if I couldn't bare the heat now.....well, don't even want to think about it.

When you die, where will you go? How's your weather forecast shaping up?

Thanks for reading,

Moving on!

Well, I think it is time for a new post....the other one was taking a turn in the wrong direction because a poster would not stay on subject! I hate that...

So, instead, I will talk about one of the things that bring great joy in my life. My grandbaby!

Her name is Madison and she is her GiGi's precious girl! Well, I know I can't lay complete claim to her, but she does bring such joy into my life. I try to spend as much time with her as I can and come October...she will become a new BIG Sister! She is so very excited about this and I for one can hardly wait either. She will welcome a baby brother into her family. :)

Her Uncle AJ also thinks she is pretty darn special as well. HE loves it when Madison gets to come over and play or we get to go there. There was a time when they didn't get along so well...but now they are the best of friends. (except when the other one has a toy they want) AJ calls her His Madison. He will often say, "Is my Madison going to come and see me?" It's just so stinking cute...can't tell ya!

Well, that's my thoughts about Madison. My joy and one of the lights in my life that keeps me sane! Her momma is the other claim to my sanity! Seeing as how I live and swim in a sea of testosterone on a daily basis....including the male dogs that I have.....sheesh! Oh well.....COUNT IT ALL AS JOY! And one part of that joy is a little girl named Madison! :)

Thanks for reading

Taking a Break

Well,

After a lot of prayer and some Godly guidance, I have decided to take a break from the social network scene for awhile. It's a place I spend a lot of time...wait, let me reiterate that....A LOT OF TIME! LOL, yeah, I do spend quite of bit of my time on the social page of places such as Facebook. Well, that is pretty much the only place I spend it. It has become a leach of sorts in my life. Now don't get me wrong...it can be a good place, and I have been there for a great amount of time. First signed on back in 2007.

I mainly have used FB as a ministry tool, however that is not the only reason I am there. But it has always remained the main reason.

I am an encourager. It's one of my spiritual gifts. Of late, my tank has become pretty dry. When you are gifted spiritually as I am...giving, exhortation and mercy...you give a lot of yourself, but it often goes that you don't get much of that back. This has been happening to me. I'm not being refueled. It's very necessary to refuel. When the tank is low, things suffer in ones life. Oppression sets in. This is what has come to my attention, which is the reason I am taking the break.

So, if you don't see me, you will know why. Of course, I have been off (with the exception of wishing folks happy b-days) for a couple days shy of a week now and nobody seems to have noticed yet, but that's okay. I pretty much expected that one too. :) I'm not going to deactivate like I have done before, just not going to spend hours a day sitting in front of my computer at the beck and call of Facebook. I can't. I have far too many other things that God needs me to do right now. But don't worry...in the famous words of the ever popular Tom Bodett (Motel 6 fame) I'll keep the light on for ya!

I'm always shining for Jesus....it's what I'm called to do.

Thanks, as always, for reading.

Val

Can't Sleep

Have you ever wondered why you can't sleep?

Do you ever just sit and tilt your head to one side and think...I'm so stinking tired, but yet I can't sleep...why?

What is keeping me up? What has me troubled? Why will my brain not shut down so I can drift off into that land of slumber like a normal person...that stuff of babies?

It's after 2:00 in the morning and I sit at my computer, awaiting my dogs to come back inside so I can shut the back door. Naturally, I go and check my Facebook. Not much going on there speak of. Normal chatter. So I thought...I'll write a blog. I mean, why not? Nobody will read it anyway, so I might as well just sit here and type away about my thoughts on my lack of sleep. :) But, there isn't much else you can say, other than...I CAN'T SLEEP!

So with that said, I guess I will just close this post with a prayer.

Dear Lord,

Please allow my brain to shut off! Please allow me to be able to go back to my bed, close my eyes and drift off into a peaceful and wonderful sleep. Help me to wake rested and ready to meet the new day with a renewed spirit. I await whatever you have for me next.

I love you Jesus.....Amen

Let Your Light Shine

Matthew 5:16 says: "In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven." (NIV) The Message translation says it this way beginning in verse 14:

"Here's another way to put it: You're here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world. God is not a secret to be kept. We're going public with this, as public as a city on a hill. If I make you light-bearers, you don't think I'm going to hide you under a bucket, do you? I'm putting you on a light stand. Now that I've put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand—shine! Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you'll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven"

Did you catch that last part? You will prompt people to open up with God. By you shining your light...you can show a lost world a ray of hope. But you can't do it by going out and living a life full of garbage.

This post has been prompted by me seeing a lot of friends or acquaintances who continually post things out on the internet about the happenings in their life. What their doing, watching, listening to. Have you heard the statement, garbage in, garbage out? Well, it's true. What you choose to fill yourself full of is what eventually comes out. It works very much the same as what you are is what you eat. The stuff we put into our bodies is in direct correlation to our overall health and well-being. You put nothing but junk in your body...your body is going to be junk. It will emit junk. If we insist on placing lemonade in our engine, instead of oil, we will destroy it. We need to take care of our bodies. Just the same, what we put into our mind and our heart via music, movies etc should be closely monitored.

God is not an evil God. He is not vengeful, but He has given us a mechanic's manual for our well being. He very plainly tells us things to avoid. How many Christians are avoiding those very things? Are we being drawn into these poisons that seem to be cleverly disguised as mere fiction, love stories or here is a good one, "it's just a good movie!" Poison is poison. A little recreational poison can be as lethal as a lot of poison from the hand of an assassin. I for one am tired of seeing my fellow brother's and sister's being drawn away into an obsession with things that are not of God. As cliche' as it may have sounded...what ever happened to "What Would Jesus Do?" When did we, as Christians, stop checking ourselves on that? As parents, why aren't we watching more closely to the things that our children are listening to or watching? I too am at fault here...I need to be reprimanded. Take this post from a movie review...just one section on language content. I won't name the movie, but it is a very popular movie out there than many Christian kids have been watching and adults too.

"Over 70 f-words, including a handful used in sexual contexts and several combined with "mother." About two dozen s-words. And close to a dozen combined misuses of God’s and Jesus’ names. (God’s name is coupled with "d‑‑n.") After that leadoff, it hardly seems worth mentioning that there are plenty of milder profanities, numerous references to male and female anatomy, and an obscene gesture. "

That's just the language content part of the review. Doesn't even touch the sexual content or other parts of the review. Would you even want to know? So....is this really what you want your kids watching, and moreover, would you feel good about watching it?

I think we really need to take a second look at the WWJD.

As Christians...our lights are growing very dim.